Dating

For many people the word "Dating" usually is spoken before an eye roll, or a heavy sigh. I think a lot of people have struggled in the dating world. Going to BYUI there are certain expectations that we all feel like we have to live up to when trying to date. I think half the problem with dating is that the actual concept and definition of a date has been distorted and confused. I have heard many girls come back from a first date and say "Well we had a good time, but I can't picture myself marrying him!" Why were they thinking about marriage on the first date? Dates are a good way of getting to know each other that don't always have to end a romantic notion. A date is when a guy plans, pays, and they paired off. This is different from when they "hang out". Hanging out eliminates the responsibilities of dating. When we date with the three "P's" it can prepare a couple for marriage and to then turn those three "P's" into preside, provide, and protect. It's also important that while a guy has those responsibilities a girl has the responsibility to be nurturing while dating. A way they can be nurturing is to be considerate of what the boy has planned and to be kind and caring. Treat them like a human being even if you aren't quite interested. Now I do have a problem with people giving the wrong idea. Sometimes me being kind reads to them that I am interested in them because I am just trying to have a conversation with them. This leads me to my next point in dating which is being transparent, clear, honest, and sincere. This is definitely something I could be better in. When they think I am interested, but I am not I need to be clear and sincere with them and let them know how I am feeling. That is how I can be more nurturing.
A very good question was brought up in class asking what should the balance be of a girl asking a guy on a date or making the first move? Of course it's nice when a guy asks the girl out and plans and pays for it. Most guys are honestly scared of rejection or ruining relationships and that stops them from asking out more girls and turning to just hang out. This is why it's nice to have a girl be courageous once in awhile. I actually just had an experience with this. There was a boy I was talking to at the gym and we were having good conversation. I was into him and he was into me. It was time to leave and I was just expecting him to ask for my number but sadly he didn't. I was kinda dissapointed. So I was gutsy, and I sent him a message and put myself out there. Luckily he ended up responding and then asked for my number and asked me on a date. We've been talking and dating ever since. I was grateful that for once I put matters into my own hands.
The last thing I want to cover is the type of love you want to have in your relationship. There are four words under the word love. They are Agape, Eros, Storge, and Philia. Agape is the more charitable kind of love. Eros is the more passion side of love, which sometimes plays into sexual passion. Storge is the love between parent and child. Philia is the brotherly love as in the love you have for a friend. These four types of love are needed, but in my opinion especially Agape, Eros, and Philia in a marriage.
Just remember to all those that are single and struggling to date, the adversary wants dating to be miserable because love and marriage are the ending goals. Stay positive and upbeat. Dating will be hard, but just have patience and one day it will all work out. Until next week!!